Keep My Heart

1/17/15

I keep my heart cold

I like it

a frozen heart will never rip

it's brittle sure

but it's dripless and less messy

keep your heat away               

even if I like it

a flame like yours is guaranteed to warm

it's cozy sure

but it's bound to flare and extinguish

I keep my heart locked

I like it

an imprisoned heart will never be stolen

it's lonely sure

but it's safe and secure

keep your escape away

even if I like it

a key like yours is guaranteed to help

it fits sure

but its bound to get me the chair

I keep my heart blind

I like it

a sightless heart will never yearn

it's dark sure

but it's oblivious and happy

keep your light away

even if I like it

a beacon like yours is guaranteed to shine

it's bright sure

but its bound to lead me to the rocks

I keep my heart hard

I like it

a strong heart will never cry

it's tough sure

but it's beating and healthy

keep your softness away

even if I like it

a bed like yours is guaranteed to relax

it's comfy sure

but it's bound to leave me unsupported

Losing Sleep

8/31/13

you toss and turn

and your heart still burns

on the fact

you have been losing sleep

because your mind still creeps

to the fact you may never find her

you stay up all night

trying to extinguish the light

on the fact

you stay awake

because you just can’t shake

the fact you may never find her

and you have been losing

sleep thinking about how you lost her

and I don’t think you’ll find

her or sleep anytime soon

you can’t find rest

because it’s hard to digest

the fact

it’s hard to close your eyes

because you can’t disguise

the fact you may never find her

you can’t take naps

because your mind just snaps

to the fact

you have been awake for days

but your focus stays

on the fact you may never find her

and you have been losing

sleep thinking about how you lost her

and I don’t think you’ll find

her or sleep anytime soon

you gotta get to bed

so get it outta your head

the fact

you are going to tire

so let your feelings expire

on the fact you may never find her

No Rainbows

8/6/13

it has stopped raining for now

and all seems calm, but

there are still drops on

the window panes

no rainbows after a storm like this

I needed the rain for the drought,

but the thunder and lightning I

could have done without

no major damage from the

howling wind, a few loose

singles but my foundation

remains

no rainbows after a storm like this

I needed the rain for the drought,

but the thunder and lightning I

could have done without

caught most of the drips with

buckets and pans, where it hit

the floor, you will no doubt find

water stains

no rainbows after a storm like this

I needed the rain for the drought,

but the thunder and lightning I

could have done without

it has stopped raining for now

and all seems calm, but

there are still drops

on the window panes

on the window panes

(it all seems calm)

but there are still drops on

the window panes

Ain't Comin Back

7/23/13

you wake to find the ghost

of one of her brown hairs on

your black pillowcase

she was just here, but

now she is gone and

she ain’t coming back

her side of the bed is

still warm but her heart has

turned cold, ice cold for you

she was just here, but

now she is gone and

she ain’t coming back

she took all of her clothes

leaving you to find the skeleton

hangers that signal her decision to leave

she was just here, but

now she is gone and

she ain’t coming back

you can still smell her perfume

in the air that she hasn’t

been in now for awhile

she was just here, but

now she is gone and

she ain’t coming back

you’d give anything to taste

her last kiss on your lips, but

the flavor is gone, so very gone

she was just here, but

now she is gone and

she ain’t coming back

she ain’t coming back

And His Name Is

3/11/13

his heart hides low in an allay

as a shadow amongst the dark

patiently waiting for the right light

to cast its shape upon the graffitied bricks of love

until this day comes

this heart will continue to beat

in the pattern of its owners name

his heart hides deep in a box

as a jewel amongst the trinkets

patiently waiting for the right appraiser

to set its value apart from the costume jewelry of love

until this day comes

this heart will continue to beat

in the pattern of its owners name

his heart hides quietly in a library

as a tome amongst the shelves

patiently waiting for the right reader

to value its truth over a fictionalization of love

until this day comes

this heart will continue to beat

in the pattern of its owners name

and his name is lone-ly, lone-ly, lone-ly

and his name is lonely

Forever and a Day

2/23/13

I walk right in, you are at the bar

you're singing along to my favorite song

I fall in love with you from afar

but the feeling doesn't last

when you turn, you look right past

and I'm stuck to feel this way

for how long? forever and a day

some time goes by, but there you are

you're with your friends, at the bar

my recent wound had no time to scar

in fact I'm still ripped up

you barely take your eyes off your cup

and I'm stuck with nothing to say

for how long? forever and a day

I see you again, this time for sure

I'll gather my courage at the grocery store

I want to say, I can't resist your allure

but I never took the chance

there goes another failed romance

and I'm stuck here to decay

for how long? forever and a day

5 Apologies

1/20/13

  

this apology is a worn out snare

far too used up, and in need of repair

its repetition alone makes me stare

down at the floor, and over to the chair   

I won't meet your eyes, I'll avoid their glare

wait, you said it again, how could you dare

this apology is a bitter veil

thin as parchment, but heavy like chain mail

its familiar effects will leave me frail

battered and bruised no time to exhale

constant offender, you belong in jail

what, you said it again, how could you fail

this apology is a bent cork screw

rusty as hell, on my heart it will chew

its uselessness obvious, very see thru

damage worse, then any help it could do

I love you baby, but this is not new

you said it again, why can't you stay true

this apology is a blackened vise

menacing and cruel, a torture device

its crushing affect is not very nice

I'm between its jaws and paying the price

your using it proves your colder than ice

you said it again, you didn't think twice

this apology, like snow in July

is hard to believe, it's a total lie

its strong effect makes it hard to deny

that I'm in bad shape that I want to die

was nothing to you, didn't even cry

you said it again, but this is goodbye  

Another Path

10/29/12

I want to show her, but I'm afraid to let her see.
the person who is inside, the person who is me.
it's not that I'm ashamed, or that I have something to hide
its just, what will she do with my heart, once she's seen inside?

I've been down this all too familiar path before,
I know how this can end. I don't want her to destroy my heart
and I don't want to be her friend.

I have counted my chips, and raised the bet, and now its up to you.
will you call my raise, show your cards, and continue this hand on through?
are you going to fold this hand, and end the game, well before the hour?
The action falls squarely on you now girl, you've got the power.

I've been down this long and dusty path before,
and I know how this can end. I'll be giving her the power
to break my heart, but I want to be more than a friend.

when I don't know how she feels about me,
it's hard to share how I'm feelin'
she might answer with, I love you too,
she might leave my heart a-bleedin'
This guessing game is killing me, and I wonder
if she knows it. If she does indeed have feelings for me,
is it as hard for her to show it?  

I've been down this love torn path before,
but this time how will it end? Will she take the fork
towards my heart, or the one towards being my friend?

I have finally found my courage, this is it,
this is will be the night.
I will finally confess my love for her,
and hope everything will be alright.
Either way my mind will be free, and maybe I'll be able to sleep.
These last few nights my brain feels like a tea bag left too long to steep.

I'm sprinting down the path now,
eager to see if she is at the end.
I hope she will share her heart with me,
I don't need another friend.

The table is set, in more ways than one,
and the conversation is going as planned.
as soon as she finishes her thought,
I will reach out and take her hand.
I will look deep into her eyes,
and ask to be her man.
no matter how she answers, I'll be ready to understand.
I'll be hoping for a yes, because I know how hard no's land.

The path is crumbling behind me,
I must continue to the end.
I'm opening the valve to my heart,
don't close it, to be my friend

This is it, I tell myself and reach out to touch her hand,
but before I make the connection, things don't go as planned.
She starts talking about a man,
and I can see it in her eyes.
this is the man that she cares for,
and something inside of me dies.

I've journeyed down another path now.
I've made it, this is the end.
I'll just sweep up my heart now,
and of course, I will be your friend.